The results of the choices we make

A blog on my opinions in making choices — a journey through beautiful moments in my life, in collaboration with Rikee Talukdar

Can a choice change you?

There had been considerable changes in the structure and evaluation of our school examinations when we shifted from the fifth grade to the sixth and then again when we shifted from the eighth grade to the ninth. The former name “Unit tests” was replaced with “Formative Assessment” and then the fearsome childhood word “annual exam” was replaced with “summative assessments”. I had to do away with my third language subject “Hindi” forever during my upgradation to the ninth grade but until then, I had to face the turmoil of having to study and appear for its examinations. I also kept a similar look for another subject named Social Studies but I liked it more than Hindi. Speaking of Hindi, it was the most detesting subject that had ever seen in my life. I had to brook the consequences of my invariant low marks in the subject each time I gave one only to drop off my overall score by a huge margin. My father and mom had nothing to complain about as they thought however much I studied hard and however much time I gave into it, I always ended up deteriorating the “great” Hindi exam. Even if not the last one, instead all the ones I have ever appeared ever since. Like everyone else, or maybe like many of us, we all desire to stand out in the class or in the school by getting good results. I have always desired so. But I couldn’t do it until recently. The credit goes to the synergy of disdain between the two and the persistently decreasing marks over the last few years accompanied by the loss of confidence and interest ascribed to each time it happens. Regardless of knowing the fact that, that year (2014) was the final year I would be studying Hindi, I had that instinct to give it the one final try, analyzing those small mistakes and dearths in my studies. This thought popped into my head, one day when I was doing the Hindi class at my school and my teacher scolded me for my happy-go-lucky, devil-may-care, carefree — irreverent attitude toward the subject. I had been so cheerfully irresponsible throughout the classes that even when I had the slightest thought of solemn for a petite interval of time towards the subject, at any time during the day, that part of my carefree conscience would come tete-a-tete only to triumph the unwavering victory. But this time I didn’t let it win. I chose to make that one last try.

I went back home and it was time for me to study my daily goals; I sat down with my Hindi book with the table of contents in it wide open in front of my eyes with a small hand calculator in my hand which I had made it from a kleptomaniac steal from my friend, simply because I grew an inexplicable kiddish dote on it. Back then, much like today’s after-college graduate schools would have, the grading system had recently changed to the CGPA system where you get a grade of 10 with a scale to the nearest tenth. With all the chapters in my head and all the statistics you require to have a glimpse of everything you need to make a study plan for the success you have been yearning for, I worked on making it and resolved to labor it the rest of the year henceforth. I gave importance to it and declined the extra time I used to give to learning higher mathematics.

One day during my Hindi class, my teacher was distributing my checked copy and he would, in fact, a Hindi teacher would, for the first time ever in my life say “ye larka sudhar gaya hein” in Hindi (“this boy is in the verse of improvement”). That was the first time I got a compliment and that was the first time I got a surge in confidence and capability which later proved to be the fundamental cause for the success in the hankering. I got an unprecedented 9/10 GPA in Hindi and it meant a lot to me even when there were a lot many who scored 10/10. I was elated.

I could have chosen not to take the challenge. “What is one more sin to a sinner?” I had no interest in getting good marks and persevered for such an abhorrent subject. I could speak Hindi well; well, if not well, much enough for a Hindi-speaking man to apprehend.

But the point to note is what would happen if I just do?

Well novice ‘Me’ had no answers to it back then. Now that years have passed by since then, I have the answers now and I would be simply delighted to share. I simply chose to do it out of all the randomness of equally likely choices swaying around in front of me. But I should say, a pretty good choice it was to stand a chance.

When I succeeded with what I dared myself with, I was completely filled with unquestionable overconfidence, pride, and self-satisfaction. A man who lacked confidence his whole life necessitates over-confidence to compensate for the loss of nonattendance. It invigorated me with the ardor to relish when results were up to scratch and criticize when they were deplorable and I think a smidgen of that is necessary to cultivate from within.

Choosing Ideas, advice, and opinions

The society is fickle-minded. Not because they choose to be one or are born innate with that but rather become one without even knowledge. If it doesn’t harm anyone or with none to obstruct, they would rather choose to be one, let their ideas flow as easily and profusely unless someone hinders and presents them a hypothesis more acceptable to ratiocination.

“I should complain that to the teacher” he said.
“No don’t!”
“Why?”
“Would you have liked if i had complained to her for the same cause?”
“I wouldn’t have done that, anyway” “you’re just saying because he’s your friend” “you are just saving him!”

So that’s something to ponder. I am saving him because I know him. He did it for a reason, not that the reason is an excuse but one. The captain wanted to complain to the teacher for cheating on the test, something that was the first time he ever did, but he ceased to know. But all he did was perform his duty- captaincy. He thought or if he is wise enough, he might have thought that, if I condemned his deed, he would learn a lesson, instill a fear into him and he might never do it ever again. But all I thought is that, if I forgave him for it, for the reason, not an excuse but one, I know he wouldn’t do it again. He wouldn’t get a friend to get him forgiven every time. All I wanted was to make him realize that. May be all I did was friendship but all the former did will prevail.

“Catch a man a fish, he will have a wonderful dinner that night; teach the man how to fish and he will have a wonderful dinner his whole life”, the saying goes.

What seems unkind might be actually good for you and what seems merciful and loving might not every time.

We fall into a mare’s nest sometimes when advising someone with wise counsel or making decisions. There is the role of experience and wisdom you have acquired through the escapades of your life. You don’t know how that way will change the life of that person and how it will affect him. But we all want his prosperous welfare.

In a quandary, it is quite often for one to set foot on the wrong trail and drive you hysterical; due to which you would most probably like to return back and set about on a different road uncovering newer and beautiful experiences, venturing roller coaster rides and still be not satisfied. On the other hand, a wise, solicitous futuristic but daring and esoteric option can escort you to a gratifying and serendipitous destination.

Choices in beliefs

“But does God really exist?”

chop chop goes an indistinct chatter. Last summer, I visited a jewelry shop, just a couple of miles away from home. It was my mom who wanted to buy a ring or so ostentatiously for an event, I haven’t kept track of. My father accompanied and I didn’t want to stay back, so I followed. Now she had ordered the ring and they decided to snap it up that day; much of an urgency. My father’s skeptical; bold and instinctively and reasonably aware of all the dangers and Machiavellian ways of the unwise part of the world. So, we decided to stay and watch it all make it from tip to toe right through the transparent glass window straight in front of us. The shop seemed to turn in censorship for all that was inside. I was a curious kid back then and even now, so I took the lead and they went for the store. The goldsmith, plumped on a spongy sit with small magnifying spectacles on his eyes, a bent metallic pipe much like in shape with those we use to drink, tiniest chunks of gold in a small bowl, a separate bowl of water and candles lambent with its flare dancing over the air breathed out of his nose. Goldsmithing with all those tiny pieces of aurums melting down carved into a beautiful ring with all those tiny flowers and patterns using all those techniques and ideas are hard. I could see that right in front of my eyes. Most of the time he would just blow the blue part of the flame off the pipe with those chunks using tiny sharp tools of varied shape to carve out the blueprint. It was tough. The first few minutes looking at how it’s all done were lifeless. So, I resigned.

“Just heard a news mister”

said the manager of the shop to a buyer. The manager seemed a simple man. Accompanied by a dark thick moustache, with a red mark of dot on his forehead.

“He must be in strong belief in animism and atheism”, I conjectured.

“What does it have to say?”

“Something great.” “It says some things were found that dates back to the Ramayana. Dead past”

“Pretty sure science could be no wrong finding out the age it dates back to. But it will be mesmerizing to know if it could prove as well, the Ramayana literally did take place.”

“No. May be not so soon. Such antiquities have been getting unearthed out ever since, only that no one has proven it to belong to something we all believe it belongs to.” “Yet people will believe what they want to believe.”

“Yeah, but I may actually seem to believe it too. 3 millennia ago, everything was different. The people, the surroundings, the earth. There ain’t no vehicles no trains no cars; nothing. Horses were the engines we define today. They pull the carts and took people places. The dress code was different. What men wear today isn’t the same their ancestors used to, nevertheless of being from different places. There were trees and forts. Kingship ruled a kingdom. There were empires and emperors. Currency had no paper but gold and silver. On the other hand, the barter system drew breath. Paper only took its place now. People believed in superstitions and atheism and Gnosticism were alive and omnipresent. Science was among the fundamental things today that was little less prevalent back then, though it was growing. Technology was less and life was hard. But people back then wouldn’t have realised it. Life was hard and you could only perceive the fact only if you were to go back in time and lived there. You know such life existed. People lived that way. But they hadn’t had the slightest of the idea the life right now. Maybe they envisaged of it all but they couldn’t attest if it really happened. When they looked at the sky, looking at the birds, flying was just but a dream. There are folklores passed on through generations after generations of people finding pleasure contemplating if they only were a bird that could fly. Flying like the bird thousands of feet above, through the air, pitted against the wind and others without falling back to earth with all those patterns of wing movements and charisma, it must have them held spellbound. What I meant to say was that may be we are, at the present, although abound with fascinating technology and rich resources, discoveries and inventions, ideas and opinions, techniques and tactics, people and curiosity, but may be not enough to comprehend the science of the existence of what it seems supernatural. Agnosticism, what we call it. Its plausible that a thousand years from now everything advances to such an extent that what it appears uncanny at the present becomes the reason a new branch of science unravels into existence. All until then everything will be a mystery and I would either rather not to dispose of an unferreted idea or to consider it a darned truth of the future.”

Enamored by the monologue, a frowned-up look was all he kept until the buyer retired. He takes out the bill off the drawer, bills paid, closes it again, and with a grin he declares “Nice talk young man.” He leaves. Sharp and indistinct thoughts kept reverberating in his mind from dusk till dawn.

When I was a kid, I had a beautiful conversation with my mom,

“Have you ever seen God?” “Of course, not” she answered. “Then why do you pray every day?”, I asked.

“I don’t know if He exists. You do not know if He doesn’t. If He doesn’t, it is just fine. You get some inner peace closing your eyes and praying. Atheism will inculcate atheophobic attitude and Man should have a healthy fear of God for the betterment of their life. Despite keeping you bereft of malevolence and being felonious, it will embrace you with and benevolence abreast of spreading love and care for the others. On the other side, if he exists, I am doing what exactly he would love we do!”

How do you choose what to do in life?

It was not until the golden year of 1903 when the Wright Brothers, Orville and Wilbur, flew the Wright flyer four times; the first one that lasted for 59 seconds. It all started from there, what we see today. Magnificent airports all around the globe. Networks of gigantic airplanes off from one place on the earth to another, defying distance, conquering winds, carrying passengers, fetching goods and masquerading birds. That’s how we advance and civilize. Courage, science, hard work, intelligence, will, and wit all play their part well enough when the right people foster a necessary cause. Time does the rest. One small idea of how to make it work out and it is all a matter of time when the human race gets used to it.

In Science, a phenomenon is first observed. It can either be abstruse to comprehend at first sight or it could simply be an idiot-proof conundrum. Either way, a scientific event or a natural phenomenon is always elating to discern enthralling to solve, and intimidating deep. An idea is proposed based on ratiocinations from the first glance. Then the idea is taken deeper into the worlds of plausible science and mathematics, integrating proven scientific and mathematical tools to make the proposed posit open to reason. As the saying goes, “no one is perfect”, however profound and ratiocinated the idea could be and however deep you put yourself into it and however smart you could be at it, the fact has always been to be at odds with what exactly is the most accepted model at present.

I have kept deep interests pertaining to multidisciplinary fields; Science, Music, Art, Literature, and Photography. Talking of Fine arts, I had grown the delight of acknowledging it in high esteem since boyhood. The day was around 14 years from now. We had a small radio in our house back then and my father would hold the rooms reverberant with loud, pleasing and sometimes raucous old songs of Kishore Da, Lata Mangeshkar, Manna Dey, Mohammed Rafi Et al. That’s when I started to listen to songs, treasure and admire them forever. I have had playlists in memory drives and have been extending them ever since; with the newer members and sometimes after discovering soothing antecedent tracks. Once the radio was playing and I installed myself seeking solace on one of my armchairs plainly doing nothing, living a mundane, humdrum existence. My father is the kind of man who fervently despises the squandering of money and time. Since I had feared him a great deal, I was held captive, a prisoner of copious thoughts, restricted conduct, repugnant incumbent activities along unquestionable obedience. Any requisite work or activity that stood up for Missenders stood inimical to him, much to his contempt. He came up to me and reprimanded

“How foolish of you to sit plumped on the chair doing nothing!”
“What do you dream of me doing dad?” I asked
“Take out a paper and try to draw the flamingo” he insisted
“How am I supposed to do that? I don’t know how to do it and the curves seem intimidating”
“I simply asked you to draw. You draw it shoddy or you draw it perfect is none of my concern”
“But who on Earth would not want it to be perfect?”
“That’s exactly what I want you to think about it” he smiled.

My father leaves for office and I chose to draw. The big pink solitary bird was solo on a pond with one limb in it and one lifted above and bent forward. I tried to focus on the photograph and strode my pencil carefully to facsimile my curves to that in the picture. I would move my pencil a tiny bit of an angle every time after intuitively speculating the gravity of the curve in the shot. Drop after drop of an incessant dripping tap would eventually fill up a large bucket. Likewise, after 2 hours of uninterrupted display of patience and vigilant carefulness, I ended up with an art that looked so pleasant to my eyes that I breathed an air of vehement satisfaction and brimming pride. I kept my photograph aside and began to add to it myself. I put mountains, trees, and stones on the pond, aquatic plants, islands, and the sun. I started coloring the piece with crayons putting in various discovered shades and depths. It ended up being my first-ever piece of art. I got so content with it that it turned out to be that, sketching, shading and coloring wouldn’t leave as my favorite hobby until the next 6 years or so of my life. In my high school days, I had won the hearts of almost all my friends with my sketches and shading artworks. I would draw cartoons, nature, still art, and whatnot?! I could never contemplate and reason out how I could reach it just from one small sketch done impatiently and unwillingly at such a young age. Even now when the weekends get prosaic, I take to sketching an impromptu art either using pen and ink or watercolor on the canvas or the chart paper. Often in the beginning, it seemed to take no shape and many times I fell prey to disincentive which transpired to be the major deterrent, resulting in to either a dissimilitude or procrastination to another day. But lately, I realized that surrendering to intuition yielded no constructive outcomes. So, I resorted to the continuance of the sketch even when the hunch would start to occur in my mind. It, though slowed down the pace, but I paid no heed to it and it eventually consummated in a dramatic pay-off, much to my satisfaction. It happened to me for many years. But oftentimes you don’t earn what you have yearned for, and the fact is inexorably natural pertaining to thinking superficially, but it isn’t so when you make an effort through analytical, critical, and abstract thinking.

Let me exemplify it for you. Here in the country, the students fall into incertitude of their prospect after they have chosen one. Before that, it is bitterly plausible that they had gone through fraying about what to study next and why to study that. A lot many take one and abandon it after some time. Notwithstanding, some of them choose one and reach the pinnacle of success. So here’s my story.

The Joint Entrance Examination or JEE is an annual examination that has been conducted in the country since the 1970’s. It is really challenging and prestigious. Some ten lakhs around the country appear for it every year. The number was quite small back then. But it seems that it has grown exponentially in recent years. The reason is simple. Everyone pines for the best. The elite Indian Institute of Technologies is by far the most prestigious institutes in the country. They are predominantly the engineering institutes that lay the foundations for the various branches pertaining to fields like aerospace engineering, computer science engineering, electrical, and many more. The mindset of the typical Indian student is such that qualifying for JEE and getting into a preferred choice of branch is the greatest triumph a science student can earn. Thousands of institutes with the sobriquet ‘Coaching Institutes’ have emerged into existence where students are spoon-fed with just enough techniques and tactics required to crack the exam. With the impending hope of success, paying no heed to their capabilities and interests, dreams and aspirations, they fall prey to joining the masses. I have always had that aptitude, that unbiased and the need for equitable devotion, that endearment, and the knack for outperforming my contemporary fellow friends in the field of Mathematics. I have always adored the subject as the prime recreation when I am anywhere in the damn world and I have not a thing to keep myself preoccupied with. It didn’t count if I had a pen or a paper or the place and the people in the vicinity. All I needed was an unsolved problem, which abounds in my mind. All I had to choose was one from the lot of luxuriant problems and get engrossed in it in a state of unquestionable loyalty. Many times, my friends offered me problems to work out, and have been acquainting myself with surprising sorts of ones to fathom and decipher, some of which never appeared friendly. But I tried. When I shifted from the tenth grade to the succeeding ones, things began to change. I was that stubborn kid but wasn’t so in my decisions and choices pertaining to what I would opt for after 2 years and how my life would turn henceforth. Just like everyone was visiting these coaching centers that existed in abound, who knew nothing but JEE and cracking IIT. I find no faults in that but they are so centered on teaching and spoon-feeding towards JEE that they practically make each and everything monotonous, mechanical, and lifeless. The solutions to the questions were either inevitably industrious to work out or unimaginably tricky one-stepped. There was indeed fun in solving but what is education with that ‘fascination’ withdrawn from it? What is education if you are route learning it even when it is incomprehensibly hard to reach and you have to because you took admission in these coaching centers because you moved with that flow looking at your fellow mates and overwhelmed by the prestige of those IITs and its repute and the course of significant prosperity you would receive if you happen to crack it and get selected? What is education if you lose all interest in that subject in the middle of your long career you still have left just because of it? To the greatest disappointment in my life till now, I too fell for this. Fascinated by that prestige and still studying and struggling my precious time out in problems of physics and chemistry, day in and day out, forgetting that love and interest and that talent I think I had in Mathematics, declining my practice session hours and punctuality I had once devoted to the subject out of deliberately being like everybody else and choosing to think studying Engineering and thus solving intricate problems from physics and chemistry for the sake of its entrance. As you know, regret and realization come later. Maybe that is the greatest realization I ever had so far and the greatest mistake I have ever made and might be one of the mistakes that will haunt me all through my life!

At the very inception of this book, we began with an article on Choice. Life has been challenging all throughout, more so when you realize that you are different, you think out of the box and that’s a curse than a boon. Coming to an important question; what if, we do not face the most favorable outcome/outcomes of the choices we make? That perhaps is no less than a trauma. Let us cite a practical example; here is the story of the girl who dreamt of becoming a pilot. She had chosen to pursue her career in serving as a pilot. She studied hard and kept moving according to her route map only to realize she was not eligible to become a pilot due to her height and physical features. She faced rejection, she faced failure. She had made a choice, she began living for her choice, and she began dreaming of her choice only to end up becoming nothing. When you give your all, it’s hard to accept that you couldn’t make it. In short, you failed. Now why does failure hurt you so badly? You start motivating yourself, but you end up feeling worse. Your choices gave a meaning to your life and that meaning is gone now. You feel lost. That is an outcome of your choice. So along with choice, it is an absolute necessity that you prepare yourself for the challenges (failure is denoted as a challenge here). We are always geared up for success; it is easier to find a success story than a failure story. You are only recognized if you are successful, you forget everything to earn that spot. But do you mourn so badly when you couldn’t accomplish the goal you chose despite your parents’/loved ones’ support? You don’t then, because you are accountable for your own failure, you defended yourself despite the warnings and you accept yourself with your flaws then, these are small instances true, but don’t they teach us bigger lessons? After all, everything exists for a reason. You want to go on that trip really bad, your parents won’t allow it because they think you’re irresponsible. You somehow manage all by yourself and you leave and you return wounded. You don’t blame anyone then, you barely feel pity and anger, because it’s the outcome of your sole choice, not anyone else’s. That’s how we learn to pick ourselves up when we fail. It is always okay to fail, and we miss this important lesson in a hurry to chase success.

Have you ever come across things like, ‘You’ve got only one life to live’ ‘Make every day count’, etc etc.? I’d say if you spend an hour daily doing absolutely nothing and yet you’re satisfied with yourself and your work, it’s okay. Because in moments like these, you recollect your thoughts, you work mentally if not physically. Remember the last time you worked hard for an exam only to score poorly? Did life end there? There’s something that we always end up blaming or thanking. Our fate, our destiny. And deeply do you keep faith in your own destiny? The greatest of men have said that we create our own destiny. It’s all about how hard and how focused we are on our own goals.

We are always taught to focus on the positive aspect, i.e. success. So when we fail, it’s more difficult to pick ourselves up than to handle the success. We fall, and unfortunately, many of us fail to pick ourselves up. That’s the worst scenario. Our thoughts may stop pouring and leading us in the right way, we lose hope and feel lost. But does life stop for us? Never. Life is synonymous with time, the most essential factor in our lives. Sure days are never always serotonin-induced, but life is much more than the happy hormones. From a philosophical point of view, we discover that life has to offer more than just our emotions.

Going deep into our roots, I’m sure you have all had that friend who used to be the best in the entire class, mostly in academics. The limelight used to be on that particular student, everyone knew this particular student would soar high in the skies. Things went well, according to expectations. And the life took a turning point just after passing out of school. Somehow, the student couldn’t pass the barriers and filters of society and couldn’t make it to the top. In fact, someone of much lower academic strength made it! That is what practicality is. That’s the true scenario. It’s not the academically strongest who make it through but the ones with reasoning and foresightedness who finally manage to excel. In order to minimize the chances of casualties as a result of the failure a sincere student needs to face, the implementation of mental studies, as well as practical lessons to deal with situations as such, is the need of the hour. More often than not, millennials suffer from mental disturbances all due to the choices they make.

Your life is ultimately a product of your choices. But we must bear in mind that however carefully we choose something, a choice may not result in our desires. That is followed by many more choices to be made, in fact, the most important ones. The handling of the situation lies entirely in our hands, no one has to contribute anything to it. We can either choose to give up, keep holding the sadness or we can pick ourselves up and try again bearing in mind the mistakes made, and proceed accordingly.

At the very inception of this article, we began with an article on Choice. Life has been challenging all throughout, more so when you realize that you are different, you think out of the box and that’s actually a curse than a boon. Coming to an important question; what if, we do not face the most favorable outcome/outcomes of the choices we make? That perhaps is no less than a trauma. Let us cite a practical example; here is the story of the girl who dreamt of becoming a pilot. She had made a choice to pursue her career in serving as a pilot. She studied hard and kept moving according to her route map only to realize she was not eligible to become a pilot due to her height and physical features. She faced rejection, she faced failure. She had made a choice, she began living for her choice, and she began dreaming of her choice only to end up becoming nothing. When you give in your all, it’s hard to accept that you couldn’t make it. In short, you failed. Now why does failure hurt you so badly? You start motivating yourself, but you end up feeling worse. Your choices gave a meaning to your life and that meaning is gone now. You feel lost. That is an outcome of your choice. So along with choice, it is an absolute necessity that you prepare yourself for the challenges (failure is denoted as a challenge here). We are always geared up for success; it is easier to find a success story than a failure story. You are only recognized if you are successful, you forget everything to earn that spot. But do you mourn so badly when you couldn’t accomplish the goal you chose despite your parents’/loved ones’ support? You don’t then, because you are accountable for your own failure, you defended yourself despite the warnings and you accept yourself with your flaws then, these are small instances true, but don’t they teach us bigger lessons? After all, everything exists for a reason. You want to go on that trip really badly, your parents won’t allow it because they think you’re irresponsible. You somehow manage all by yourself and you leave and you return back wounded. You don’t blame anyone then, you barely feel pity and anger, because it’s the outcome of your sole choice, not anyone else’s. That’s how we learn to pick ourselves up when we fail. It is always okay to fail, and we miss this important lesson in a hurry to chase success.

We are always taught to focus on the positive aspect, i.e. success. So when we fail, it’s more difficult to pick ourselves up than to handle the success. We fall, and unfortunately, many of us fail to pick ourselves up. That’s the worst scenario. Our thoughts may stop pouring and leading us in the right way, we lose hope and feel lost. But does life stop for us? Never. Life is synonymous with time, the most essential factor in our lives. Sure days are never always serotonin-induced, but life is much more than the happy hormones. From a philosophical point of view, we discover that life has to offer more than just our emotions.

Going deep into our roots, I’m sure you have all had that friend who used to be the best in the entire class, mostly in academics. The limelight used to be on that particular student, everyone knew this particular student would soar high in the skies. Things went well, according to expectations. The life took a turning point just after passing out of school. Somehow, the student couldn’t pass the barriers and filters of society and couldn’t make it to the top. In fact, someone of much lower academic strength made it! That is what practicality is. That’s the true scenario. It’s not the academically strongest who make it through but the ones with reasoning and foresightedness who finally manage to excel. To minimize the chances of casualties as a result of the failure a sincere student needs to face, implementation of mental studies, as well as practical lessons to deal with situations as such, is the need of the hour. More often than not, millennials suffer from mental disturbances all due to the choices they make.

Your life is ultimately a product of your choices. But we must bear in mind that however carefully we choose something, a choice may not result in our desires. That is followed by many more choices to be made, in fact, the most important ones. The handling of the situation lies entirely in our hands, no one has to contribute anything to it. We can either choose to give up, keep holding the sadness or we can pick ourselves up and try again bearing in mind the mistakes made, and proceed accordingly.

“The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity. The fears are paper tigers. You can do anything you decide to do. You can act to change and control your life; and the procedure, the process is its own reward.” — Amelia Earhart

In a nutshell, choices are not where it all ends!